Talk:Suyog S. Upadhye
dear suyog, your story is dense and beautiful to me. i am not sure how to give suggestions, but we have uploaded binod bihari mishra's description of how he grew blind, and how he lived with blindness. he was a famous painter by then already. he writes very clearly about his situation. maybe you would like to read it. of course he went permanantly blind, and the point of your story is also the shifting of experience- the non solidity of what we feel and even of what we think is happening to us? i shall email it seperately to you.
sorry for the very late response- i have excuses but inadequate ones.
do work on making this a work which you feel has reached its fruition and that can be put aside, to venture onto new things?
a writer from baroda commented on the story too- i am going to post some of her comments also here. hansa
I feel the start of the story is too much about an introduction to philosophical ideas so it prolongs the time before we get into the story. Perhaps if you dwells more on the concepts of transformation and notions of blindness it would be more of an interesting narrative. You seem, to me, to be using too many narrative devices and concepts and somewhere I got lost. I found many of the images and scenes touching and evocative but they seemed a bit scattered. Perhaps you read too much about Phalke before letting his own imagination and narrative ploys from coming into play. But it is a very good story and would make a wonderful episode in the film if it was edited and sharpened a bit more.
