Talk:Sundials

Dear Leela, yesterday we read out your story at the workshop. I read it out, and it was an experience, over time( long story!) hearing my voice, trying to catch the story. Two of us, Renu, and I were discussing the story later, so here are some suggestions, from us: at some places, the story could be more spare. the king and his shadow, exactly how the sundial with the king is going to be- could be more precise. my favorite favorite bit is his failure to control the anthropological project. i think that is lovely.

the part renu felt not so comfortable with, was the woman. her sudden appearance. i like the bit about the opacity of the eyes, but that followed by the flood, perhaps seems like two disconnected events, both of great weight? i dont know, perhaps that is the texture of life. the snake charmers image made me a bit uncomfortable because it is used so often. but then i loved the image of the snake with her shadow. it is a image that rests a bit uneasily on the familiar exotic and some real thing breaking through.

at a tangent, last night we saw paradjenov's surinaam fortress. it was also exotic, i was trying to tell kamal that somehow we dont manage to make our clothes and so on, feel so mythical when we shoot them- the quality of 'story' is not there. kamal said it was because of lensing- we cut to a close as soon as we can! he keeps to a distance, a extreme distance and we see things playing themselves out. i think your way of moving in and out of karna's mind has something compelling to it. look at it again, something of its 'clear bare bones' could show some more? ( he he, kamal describing what is good about borges who i confess i am not much taken up by- but you have an affinity with him, no?)