Dear raheema, i read your story today, once, twice- it feels like walking into a dream someone shows you, of perhaps their life, and like the eagle sweeps past me, i too wonder at the wave like motions the words make inside me. The meanings do not pin down the story, i wont try to- where would you taks this story now, can i help you? I see patterns, repitions, again and again the camel returns to the story- before the turtle, after it. When after mention of a parting, it is mentioned that this where they met, where the turtle took sessions. In a way it is like the way the mind wanders, before, after, returning to a previous thought in an odd way. I liked the piece of stitched cloth she gave the fish- the story of medea flashed through my mind, only because of the presence of the stitched cloth to the new lover. That story is all, and perhaps too much only about the presence of jealousy, this one is about feeling pain, and struggling to reconcile, in difficult ways. There is a ring of sadness through your story that is not namby pamby it holds firm. Towards the end you are trying to unravel your story, to understand its meanings and it is about the camel and the eagle, and in a more minor tone, about a fish who we know little of and a turtle, who little is revealed of too. I think these two could be worked on, not to make their parts longer, but still more clearer?I am not sure of this. The bit about the fish wanting the cloth since she wants a sense of history is with me still, i am trying to understand it. ( something i realise i do very rarely do in stories, i am so happy listening to its cadences, it gives me a comforting sense of familiarity, the rest i hope is osmosis!) the eagle always knows, that she is an eagle? Or decides, that yes, that is what she is? I am thinking of how it is easier to recognise the other- man, camel, and so on, but does one know, except by being told by others, what one is destined to be? One knows because people tell you- you are a woman, for instance. And then you try to grow into that, in part? And then you enjoy the part, and make it yours and you cannot imagine how it was ever seperate? Only sometimes a memory comes of a time when it was? Also, is there not a bald headed eagle in amercia somewhere? I remembered the tonsured head on your photo site love hansa
I wonder if i'm an eagle, but I'm really into conscious nick-naming, so thats why, and the rest is intution.
I want to work with both the fish and the turtle, but anything I say now will do disservice to the narrative I've built.I will think about it.
The work needs to built on.I'll try working more with the idea of the wiki, with links.In time.