Talk:Aditi Nanavati

Your story made me smile, often, especially after she enters the shop at Picadilly. And I would find myself often looking up the page at Phalke’s picture which seems to be half smiling, and connecting it with your text, which makes him humane and likable, as seen through the eyes of a young art student in England. I have made corrections which are often of tense- since it is all in the past- in the main text itself. I have also suggested removing some words- like ‘Well’ at the beginning of sentences- but perhaps it goes with your student’s personality? You decide. Many details stay as images- the boring class, the view outside, the raincoat, the red door in the dark humid shop, the answering twinkle in your eye, the way phalke is dressed, the blue paint, in the beginning, the brush in the hair, the landlady not liking her..

The character’s thoughts seem very natural. As do her feelings for home.

So, what do you want to do with this story now? Perhaps work at it a bit more, especially, thinking more of the substance of the conversation in the second part. What was the image on the ravi verma card? What did phalke say that brought up the images of mythology. Where were they walking? What was outside? Where were the mythologies of London? - these are just suggestions, you decide and mail back any doubts- even doubts about these suggestions that you might like to discuss.

The leave taking by the ship is sad and sweet. I really liked your story. affly hansa